Condemned 2: Bloodshot – July 28th, 2012 – November 11th, 2014

JULY 28TH, 2012: What bothers me the most is that I just don’t like Con2.

Or rather, I didn’t like it as much as I wanted to.

I compare it to Homecoming, and it makes that game seem like an exotic tropical vacation. (Heh, Silent Hill Xtreme Volleyball. I would pay money to see that.)

Even Homecoming was less of a pain in the ass than this, mediocre as it was. I’d take the Scarlet doll boss over smaller, human-sized doll minibosses that need envirokills or doll grenades thrown a floor above to kill! Siiigh.

Con2 isn’t intuitive and I just hate that you can’t jump and crouch.

I also hate the changes they made to Ethan and Rosa.

The thing about Ethan and Serial Killer X not having vocal cords is interesting, though. I wonder how much BS I’ll have to go through if I try to find out why.

So basically, I had a fit over the doll factory level.

Going back to my VGJs, the vague memories came back to me. The dolls could explode on you, taking you out in one hit, but you could also use parts of their bodies as makeshift grenades.

As for comparing it to Homecoming, it may be a little off-base, because I don’t think that Condemned is quite as weak as Homecoming, but Con2 isn’t much better. It just has some objective gameplay qualities over it. As a horror game, it’s generally more atmospheric due to its first-person view; the choice to do a generic floating third-person camera in Homecoming was the single worst design choice that they made. The first Silent Hill game without any dynamic camera angles, it may have been more playable than it predecessors, but it lost almost all of their “soul”.

I kind of wish that I hadn’t made the SHXV joke because the series just keeps getting peed on more and more. The joke would be more good-spirited if the series wasn’t in Konami’s utterly incompetent hands. As it is, then, it’s just a dumb joke that doesn’t even land.

Perhaps this video, featuring the closest we’ll ever get to an SHXV, will take some of the sting out of my FAILURE:

JULY 3RD, 2014: The Mayor (Rachel Mars) got killed, so we have to… bend the rules and sneak into the museum to figure out why and who did it. A drawing of eyes covered in bloody fingerprints was found at the scene, signed “SKX”, as in Serial Killer X. Isn’t he supposed to be deeead?

Thankfully, this is a much better level than the doll factory. It has some stealth segments where you have to sneak by the guards. If they spot you, then you have to fight them off, and you can kill them, but that’s frowned upon. You can just knock them out instead.

There’s also a part later on in the level where you have to fight off this crazy, big, heavily-armored guy, as in, medieval-style armor. It’s a bit tricky because you can only kill him with a specific weapon. It’s not easy to figure out on your own because you’re not given any clues as to how to beat him. You could fight him for a long time and not figure out on your own how to get past this boss fight.

I think I’ve figured out what always bothered me about this game. As a sequel, it makes many strange decisions. Gameplay’s still decent, but more structured. The characters, for some reason, have been changed a lot between games. As a sequel, it’s iffy, but as a game, it’s okay.

Okay” isn’t good enough when you compare this game’s ratings to its predecessor.

Maybe Monlith didn’t actually want to make a sequel and didn’t put their full effort into it.

JULY 19TH, 2014: C2: BS – A Night at the Museum

Apparently, Serial Killer X really did off the mayor. He was supposed to have died in the first game after being shot in the head. One would assume, but Condemned had weird supernatural elements, too.

If that was SKX on that surveillance video, then he’s shaved his head and has started working out, because he’s big. The characters tend to be stocky, however…

NOVEMBER 11TH, 2014: Unlocked Decisive Restraint. It wasn’t easy. 6/38

C2: BS – Black Lake Lodge

Rosa told Ethan to go here to investigate Vanhorn’s demise. However, the plane he took to get there crashed and the pilot perished, so Ethan was left alone to investigate.

Now we have a… killer grizzly bear that is stalking Ethan through the Lodge. At least that part is tense. Actually, I think that it stalks you through a random building, not the Lodge.

After that, Thomas has to disarm an explosive device. The charges are set all throughout the Lodge.

Failing the forensics puzzles in this game reminds me of screwing up in L.A. Noire… which also features Greg Grunberg, his voice as well as his likeness, with facial motion capture.