Condemned 2: Bloodshot – November 26th, 2014 – April 24th, 2015

NOVEMBER 26TH, 2014: In the Lodge, there was a message scribbled on a wall by SKX:

I WILL BECOME ONE OF THEM

MY UNCLE SAVED ME TO RISE AGAIN

THE ORO AWAIT ME”

What is a Japanese onomatopoeia gonna do for him? “Oro” is the Japanese equivalent to “Huh?”

Dumb jokes aside, thanks to looking this game up online, I do know what the Oro are, and what they do to this game’s plot.

I wonder why Vanhorn was so loyal to his nephew. He was a twisted serial killer, an awful person, and yet, Vanhorn always tried to pull him back from the brink of darkness.

FEBRUARY 10TH, 2015: CAN THIS GAME PLEASE ENDDDDDDDDDDD

I got kind of annoyed by finding those bombs. It got confusing due to the overlapping wires that connected the detonators to the bombs. The fact that you couldn’t crouch or jump in the game didn’t help.

MARCH 2ND, 2015: C2: BS – Trenton District

These scrawny guys are no fun to fight because they’re much faster and stronger than the regular enemies, they’re attacking in numbers, and they can get the drop on me. Getting swarmed? Not fun.

MARCH 11TH, 2015: C2: BS – Everyone Was Kung Fu Fighting

That really explains a lot of the game’s ridiculousness in a nutshell.

SKX actually rescued Ethan from Dorland… so that he could be the one to kill him later. At least SKX is still reliably creepy.

Ethan and Rosa followed their next lead to the Magic Theater, where the Magicman was.

He was supposed to know more about the Oro.

However, he decided to play games with Ethan.

Ethan was tempted to drink again, and had to defeat an “alcohol demon” to stop himself. The demon was super-easy to beat, though.

I know that if I didn’t compare this game to Condemned: Criminal Origins, I may enjoy it more, but its status as a sequel to C: CO is the only reason that I was interested in it.

Unlocked Bloodshot. 7/38.

Huh, maybe I’ll check out some of those challenges after I’ve finally beaten the game.

I’m reminded of Fat Amy’s line from Pitch Perfect when that guy from a rival acapella group tries to make a pass at her: “Sometimes, I have the feeling that I can do crystal meth. But then I think, ‘Mmm, better not’.”

APRIL 8TH, 2015: Condemned 2: Bloodshot – Phantasmagoria

Rosa took a disc of Dorland’s that had entries from SKX’s journal on it. He explained that the Oro used “Sonic Generation” to produce sounds not just from their vocal cords, but from their whole bodies. He theorized that their power caused people to suffer from paranoia and hallucinations. Rosa thought that may have been one reason why the city fell into chaos. There was also a tidbit about the Oro trying to enhance their powers by modifying their bones.

That… actually makes sense considering the weirdness of both Condemned mes. It may explain the monstrosity with the metal jaw in Condemned: Criminal Origins.

The whole Magicman character had a regal air that fits in better with BioShock than the grittiness of Condemned.

He said that Ethan’s body is perfectly suited for Sonic Generation, and that was what the Oro feared. But would they really destroy a whole city just to kill one man?

The Magicman told Ethan that the Oro hid out on a peninsula. Ethan and Rosa went to a junk barge to get there. Some birds tried to attack them, so Ethan used his voice to kill them. Rosa felt threatened and ran down into the lower deck. Uh-oh.

The cover for this game is kind of like the cover for Resident Evil Revelations and Resident Evil Revelations 2.

Resident Evil has kind of liked this image of a traumatized eye across the series. There was the Japanese box art for the first game, the title screen for Resident Evil Outbreak, and the box arts for the Revelations games.

ARPIL 24TH, 2015: Condemned 2: Bloodshot – I’m the Juggernaut, Bitch

This crazy guy strapped into heavy metallic armor started to chase Ethan while he looked for Rosa! It was pretty panic-inducing.

Those big guys were called Metal Junkies.

Ethan’s suffered a lot. 😦

Ethan got wounded when a piece of junk got lodged in his thigh. Rosa told him to stay put while she went off to get help. Do you think that he did? Of course not… for some reason.

He hitched a ride in a container and his demon told him that he needed to accept how many people, including his parents, died to protect him. He said that he was just a hallucination caused by the Oro’s evil influence over the city. Hmm…

The Oro had Ethan cornered in some construction sire filled with Oro machines and artifacts. But Ethan tapped into his Sonic (heh) Blast attack.

C2: BS – Fus Ro Nah

After Ethan destroyed the Oro’s surveillance network, the ship that he was in began to break apart, but he decided to finish off Dorland, an Oro mentor, instead of leaving. He used the Sonic Blast emitter thingy, too.

Rosa begged Ethan to leave, but he refused, because Dorland was unfinished business.

Sonic Blast is cool and all, but I find myself triggering it by accident.

This sequel’s greater emphasis on fighting and odd control scheme can be a toxic combo. The triggers (or secondary shoulder buttons on the PS3) correspond to Ethan’s hands, but it ain’t no Tekken. I think it would have been better if the triggers were for quick and heavy attacks. Maybe that would have kept enemies from constantly interrupting your combo with their quick counters.

I hate the voice acting for that British reporter chick. Her line reading is so flat. It’s just the same tone all the way through. Leave it to this game to temporally bitch-slap voice acting back to the era of the Turbo-Grafx 16’s abominable dubbing.

There are no words for how horribly annoying the British newscaster’s voice acting is. I really grew to hate it. Her voice acting is not the stereotypical bad voice acting – it’s no acting, yet, it’s not convincing enough to sound like an actual newscaster. It’s neither here nor there – Schrodinger’s voice acting.

C2: BS – Unfinished Business

Ethan defeated Dorland, and asked what the Oro’s plan was. Dorland claimed that they were protecting us, but wouldn’t say from what.

Ethan grabbed a ladder from a rescue chopper that floated overhead, but then Dorland grabbed his feet. Ethan kicked him off. “Get – the fuck – off me!”

Dorland fell into the abyss below.

Enjoy the scenic route, asshole,” said Ethan.

Rosa and LeRue were on the chopper. She said that they shook up the Oro.

LeRue said that he and Ethan should grab some drinks, but Ethan turned him down. LeRue finally said what his first name was: Pierce.

What I need is some sleep,” said Ethan.

Unlocked Trooper. 8/38

There were some brief scenes before and after the credits. The first showed the President apparently having a heart attack after someone gave him a note. It said, “The remedy is among us!!” As in, Ethan.

But who sent him the note? Moreover, giving the President handwritten notes from random strangers, who could be terrorists for all anyone knows, is a thing that can happen?

Then, Serial Killer X got his new jaw implant to let him use his voice as a sonic weapon. The creatures that gave it to him looked like the metallic monster from the end of the first game. So I guess they weren’t monsters after all… Just the Oro.

Ugh, it’s over. Six years! That’s almost how long it took for me to finish this game. It’s such a puzzling and schizophrenic sequel. This game’s momentum and difficulty are all over the place.

I don’t hate it as much as I used to, but I struggle to call it good. I just can’t say that with a clear conscience. I guess it’s not too bad if you get it super-cheap – say, in a pawn shop that gives you a free game if you buy a few at a time – but heck, I realized that I got it super-cheap not long after it came out, and was still fairly miffed about it. Maybe if you’re really bored with your other games? What I’m saying is, don’t worry too much about putting this game too high on your bucket list.

Several of the changes in this game from the sequel were unnecessary, but I realized that my hatred of the shift in character designs for Ethan and Rosa were a bit overblown. They are completely unnecessary, but not the worst ways that characters have been redesigned. Ethan appears to have been whitewashed, but at least his facial structure is similar to his appearance in the first game, which is more than we can say about Rosa. Apparently, the SCU pays for total plastic surgery. The thing is, I would have been fine with her looking a little different from how she did in the first game – people can change a lot in a year – but not THAT much. She’s still the same helpful, caring, and faithful friend of Ethan’s that she was in the first game. Her redesign was so unnecessary. Heck, at the rate this series was going, her new appearance would be retconned as an Oro plot of some sort.

As for the story, I have mixed feelings about that, too. The Oro conspiracy plot could have been interesting if it was continued, but feels a bit far-reaching for a series that begun as a street-level search for a serial killer. This series would have been better off staying true to those roots.

One of the designers of this game said in a gaming forum that he would retcon this game as a drunken episode of Ethan’s in a theoretical Condmened 3. I can’t blame him. Maybe someday, there can be a kickstarter for the better, saner Condemned 3 that the series deserves.

Next, we’ll leave all of this terrestrial malaise behind… for space, the final – and surprisingly anime – frontier.

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