Dragon Age II Part Five: The Deep Roads Expedition

Varric will not be objectified by Isabela!

Varric: “Rivaini. Stop looking at my chest. My eyes are up here.”

Isabela: But the chest hair…”

Do you know how much I suffer under your gaze? I am a person, not an object!”

Uh, Varric?”

Varric laughed. “Just shitting you.”

Those two are cunning linquists together. Carver gets the wrong idea.

Unlocked Knowledgeable and Enchanter.

Sandal has added more words than just “Enchantment” to his vocabulary, but his face has become creepily long in this game.

Unlocked Financier.

Time to go down into the Deep Roads to do deep things!

Mom really didn’t want Ilyria and Carver to go…

Cassandra claimed that the Champion had to have known what was down there in the Deep Roads. Varric sincerely disagreed, claiming that neither Hawke nor any of her companions or family knew. And if she did, why would she have let her brother go down into “that blighted hole”?

Cassandra insisted upon his view of what happened.

Uh-oh. Are we gonna unleash an ancient evil?

The passage is blocked. Bartrand was not happy. Also, Sandal wandered off, making a panicked Bodahn ask Ilyria and the others for help.

Unlocked Dedicated.

OH GOD OH GOD I THOUGHT I COULD HANDLE THE GIANT SPIDERS IN THIS GAME BUT WHAT THE HELL IS THIS BLACK TIGER BULLSHIT DOING IN MY DRAGON AGE

One of its legs is bigger than Varric!

Not only that, but it’s the toughest enemy to not just outright kill us, too. Egggh…

Hell, its ass-fangs are bigger than Isabela’s boobs. My god.

Now I really don’t feel safe in these dungeons. Give me blood mages or Darkspawn or even an Ogre, but don’t give me that.

Anatomy of a Freakout

The Black Tiger is a reference to the boss spider in the first Resident Evil game.

I don’t really know what I meant by “ass-fangs”. I presume it’s a part of the thorax that I saw back there?

This is possibly the most memorable and tough battle in the whole game for me. I was freaking out, trying to fight it while seeing as little of it as possible, and everyone was dying around me, but somehow, we did it.

Nope Badger

Sandal’s still good at killing Darkspawn. Somehow.

Unlocked Delver of the Deep.

We found ourselves in a dwarven Primeval Thaig. Bartrand did not recognize its style.

A lost civilization?

A little further into the Thaig, we found a Lyrium Idol on an altar. Ilyria picked it up and handed it to Varric, who threw it to Bartrand in turn. Bartrand then locked the door into the altar room. Varric pointed out what Bartrand did, to which he said, “You always did notice everything, Varric.”

Yep. Now we’re lost in the Primeval Thaig. Varric said that he would kill Bartrand when we got out of there. Now, now.

Figures. This whole thing is fishy. There was no way it would have gone off without a hitch.

Some dwarves seem to enjoy backstabbing each other. “A Paragon of Her Kind”, anyone?

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