“Bloody Brutal Monster Violence”
Splatterhouse (2010)
Developer (until 2009): BottleRocket|Developer: Namco Bandai Games|Publisher: Namco Bandai Games|Platform: PlayStation 3|Released (North America): November 23, 2010|Released (Australia): November 25, 2010|Released (Europe): November 26, 2010|Originally Played From: July 8, 2012 – October 9, 2012
This is a 3D reboot of Namco’s cult classic, horror-themed beat ‘em up, Splatterhouse. It uses a premise similar to the first game, wherein Rick has to rescue his girlfriend, Jennifer, from the nefarious Dr. West. To do this, Rick has to make a devil’s pact with a certain artifact…
It all began when Jennifer was supposed to interview West, a professor of “necrobiology”, at his mansion. Rick went with Jennifer, not only to look out for her, but also to propose. Before he can, however, some specimens of West’s experiments attack the couple, kidnapping Jennifer and leaving Rick at death’s door. Rick manages to knock open a sarcophagus… and that’s when he meets him.
Even the menus are bloody.
“She doesn’t have to die,” says the Terror Mask. Rick puts it on, and undergoes a painful transformation into a hulking, top-heavy brute.
“What am I?! What am I?!”
“You’re mine, Rick.”
Phase 1: Satan’s Masque
These monsters are pretty grotesque.
The music kind of reminds me of the original games.
Unlocked “Flesh Re-animation!”, The Business of Killing, You Got Red On You, Morbid Dismemberment, and Hunger Pangs.
Phase 2: The Doll That Bled
Unlocked “See you at the party” and “Heavy frikkin Metal!”
Phase 2 switches to a cool side-scrolling section, like the original games’ perspective.
The Mask has some pretty funny dialog. When you reach a part with freaks reaching out between bars: “Welcome to Dr. West’s handjob dungeon!”
This game is so bloody, it’s practically an art installation. But you know what would’ve been really artistic? A rainbow blood mode.
Unlocked Bad Taste, Call of the Thule, and Tongue in Cheek
Hopefully not Dr. Tongue!
Dr. Tongue was the bad guy from the cult classic Zombies Ate My Neighbors (low-key one of the best game names of all time). I also could have referenced Tongue of the Fatman, but why would anyone do that
Dr. Tongue was also a mad scientist, like West in this game.
West Mansion would be pretty creepy even without the blood and gore. West himself is creepy.
Unlocked Army of Dead Evil and The Berserker
The boss of Phase 2 is kind of cheap, but awesome.
Rick: “West… recognized us…”
“You got one of those faces. Now go!”
Phase 3: In the Shadow of the Abyss
Oh, I get it… Phases as in moon phases…
There’s another cool side-scrolling section in Phase 3, but the retro music is a little inexplicable. I can only presume that it comes from one of the original games.
Why am I dying so much from a jumping section?
Sometimes, this game is bloody and gory, it’s like the level in Gears of War where you’re inside the giant worm. Eww.
You Damn, Dirty Corrupted
The Corrupted were evil deities that West wanted to sacrifice Jennifer to, in the belief that they would resurrect his dead wife, Leonora.
Unlocked “POW!”
Going inside the mouth of a giant, mutated Statue of Liberty? This can’t end well.
Phase 4: The Meat Factory
Rick: “This place smells like shit!”
“Reminds me of home.”
This level is pretty creepy.
I like the game’s music.
The game can get kind of hard, but autosave makes progression feel breezy.
Big Time Fans
“Fuck it, any floor’ll do.”
Rick smashes the button panel to start the elevator. It plays muzak.
“Show him why we call it… Splatterhouse.”
Unlocked Be Garbage of Cesspool
This Achievement is a reference to a strange phrase from the cutesy and goofy Splatterhouse spinoff, Wanpaku Graffiti.
Phase 5: The Corpse That Wouldn’t Die
Unlocked South of Hell
When I began practicing the dark art of emulation, I tried all three original Splatterhouses. Splatterhouse was good, Splatterhouse 2 sucked, and Splatterhouse 3 was… different. The second game was really disappointingly difficult. An endless, repetitive death march. Not worth it.
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