Content Warning: This post describes and discusses vomit. So. Much. Vomit.
Ads. Just like death and taxes, they’re some of the annoyances that you have to deal with in life. But some ads go above (below?) the call of duty in making viewers glad that they didn’t click on them, or bolted from the couch to raid the fridge or go for a bathroom break, or put the magazine down to go do something else. This list is all about those.
Mighty No. 9 was already burning through a lot of its initial goodwill by the time the “Masterclass” trailer dropped, with several notable delays, feature creep (which caused further delays), and a controversial Kickstarter for another project from Keiji Inafune (Red Ash, which already had a publisher, and was planned to come out no matter how much funding they raised, and stretch goals that the developers were unwilling to give details on, which actually breaches one of Kickstarter’s rules). But “Masterclass” may have been the final straw for many, or at least the reason for further resignation.
This trailer created by publisher Deep Silver is noted for its cheesy, middle-aged narrator (described as “dad-voiced” by Polygon) violating the rule of “show, don’t tell” to promote the game, which is a bold move considering how the game actually looked. The explosion effects were quickly compared to “extremely cheap-looking pizza”, for example. The script tries to sound too hip, with lines asking if the audience likes “awesome things that are awesome”.
But that wasn’t the worst line in the script.
Continue reading Friday (Least) Favorites #2: Worst Ads and PR Campaigns
Mushroom Run in Treat Land is full of tricky platforming!
Sweets Park is the cutest level EVER. Graham crackers, cookies drizzled with chocolate, tufts of frosting, strawberries, cake… and none of it is a lie!
Melody Town? The level that comes right after? Best. In. Forever.
It’s simply wonderful to integrate audiovisual stimuli into platforming. It’s compelling and rewarding.
The boss of Treat Land is Squashini. His stage is very inventive as well!
Continue reading Kirby’s Epic Yarn Part Two
Kirby’s Epic Yarn
Developer: Good-Feel and HAL Laboratory
Platform: Nintendo Wii
Released (North America): October 17, 2010
Released (Japan): October 14, 2010
Released (Australia): February 24, 2011
Released (Europe): February 25, 2011
Originally Played From: July 20, 2011 – September 24, 2011
“Go behind the seams with Kirby!”
Continue reading Kirby’s Epic Yarn Part One
Elizabeth asked if there was redemption for what they’d done. Booker said he didn’t see much use in that. Then she asked, “Booker… Are you afraid of God?”
“No. But I’m afraid of you.”
Are we supposed to take it that she is? Continue reading BioShock Infinite Part Three: Baptism
The Broken Gondola
Unlocked Dress for Success. 7%
I wish you could see the Gear that Booker allegedly wears.
It was probably too silly to implement.
Continue reading BioShock Infinite Part Two: Monumental
Platform: PlayStation 3
Developer: Irriational Games
Publisher: 2K Games
Released: March 26, 2013
Originally Played From: July 1, 2013 – July 14, 2013
“Bring us the girl, wipe away the debt.”
“The year is 1912. Deep in debt, Booker DeWitt has only one opporunity for a clean slate: rescue Elizabeth, a mysterious girl imprisoned since childhood in the flying city of Columbia.”
But will Booker, ridden with self-loathing, have to protect Elizabeth from the world, or protect the world from her?
Continue reading BioShock Infinite Part One: Are You Afraid of God?
I tried to beat the “Insurance Scammer” adventure, but it was too hard. I did take over a new garrison, though.
The problem with “Insurance Scammer” is that you have to wipe out the whole squad… with the pistol. There’s ammo nearby, but it ran out. ;-;
The magazine for the pistol can be upgraded if you find all of the VHS tapes. That VHS format is what we used to watch stuff on. Each in-game tape has a brief description of every very ’80s plot. Continue reading Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon Part Two: Totally Radical
“Winners Don’t Lose”
-Rumble McSkirmish, Gravity Falls episode “Fight Fighters”
Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon
Developer: Ubisoft Montreal
Platform: Xbox 360
Released (North America): April 30, 2013
Released (Europe): May 1, 2013
Campaign Played from: October 5, 2016—November 19, 2016
Continue reading Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon Part One: Jumping the Shark
Well, Sega certainly had something to prove after Gearbox ripped them off with Aliens: Colonial Marines, didn’t they? Yet, my feelings towards this game somehow aren’t as strong as they should be. Maybe because this game has you being the most vulnerable of any Alien game I’ve played. Maybe it’s because the game makes the sight of the Alien too common, without a more empowering narrative for Amanda (which her mother gets in Aliens). The game almost feels incomplete in a way. Perhaps they can do a sequel with a better story for Amanda?
I guess I’m a little disappointed because I expected constant terror, but no game is tat scary. But I do think that, for a certain type of gamer, they should check it out, if for no other reason than the later levels. It’s weird that the game is kind of back-loaded in the last quarter or so.
Continue reading Alien: Isolation Part Four: Final Thoughts and Miscellany
There’s a part where you have to destroy several Working Joes so that you can steal a keycard from its body. Continue reading Alien: Isolation Part Three: Closure