Friday (Least) Favorites #2: Worst Ads and PR Campaigns

Content Warning: This post describes and discusses vomit. So. Much. Vomit.

Ads. Just like death and taxes, they’re some of the annoyances that you have to deal with in life. But some ads go above (below?) the call of duty in making viewers glad that they didn’t click on them, or bolted from the couch to raid the fridge or go for a bathroom break, or put the magazine down to go do something else. This list is all about those.

Masterclass.”

Mighty No. 9 was already burning through a lot of its initial goodwill by the time the “Masterclass” trailer dropped, with several notable delays, feature creep (which caused further delays), and a controversial Kickstarter for another project from Keiji Inafune (Red Ash, which already had a publisher, and was planned to come out no matter how much funding they raised, and stretch goals that the developers were unwilling to give details on, which actually breaches one of Kickstarter’s rules). But “Masterclass” may have been the final straw for many, or at least the reason for further resignation.

This trailer created by publisher Deep Silver is noted for its cheesy, middle-aged narrator (described as “dad-voiced” by Polygon) violating the rule of “show, don’t tell” to promote the game, which is a bold move considering how the game actually looked. The explosion effects were quickly compared to “extremely cheap-looking pizza”, for example. The script tries to sound too hip, with lines asking if the audience likes “awesome things that are awesome”.

But that wasn’t the worst line in the script.

Continue reading Friday (Least) Favorites #2: Worst Ads and PR Campaigns

BioShock Infinite Part Three: Baptism

Elizabeth asked if there was redemption for what they’d done. Booker said he didn’t see much use in that. Then she asked, “Booker… Are you afraid of God?”

No. But I’m afraid of you.”

Are we supposed to take it that she is? Continue reading BioShock Infinite Part Three: Baptism

BioShock Infinite Part One: Are You Afraid of God?

BioShock Infinite

Platform: PlayStation 3

Developer: Irriational Games

Publisher: 2K Games

Released: March 26, 2013

Originally Played From: July 1, 2013 – July 14, 2013

Bring us the girl, wipe away the debt.”

The year is 1912. Deep in debt, Booker DeWitt has only one opporunity for a clean slate: rescue Elizabeth, a mysterious girl imprisoned since childhood in the flying city of Columbia.”

But will Booker, ridden with self-loathing, have to protect Elizabeth from the world, or protect the world from her?

Continue reading BioShock Infinite Part One: Are You Afraid of God?

Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon Part Two: Totally Radical

I tried to beat the “Insurance Scammer” adventure, but it was too hard. I did take over a new garrison, though.

The problem with “Insurance Scammer” is that you have to wipe out the whole squad… with the pistol. There’s ammo nearby, but it ran out. ;-;

The magazine for the pistol can be upgraded if you find all of the VHS tapes. That VHS format is what we used to watch stuff on. Each in-game tape has a brief description of every very ’80s plot. Continue reading Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon Part Two: Totally Radical

Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon Part One: Jumping the Shark

Winners Don’t Lose”

-Rumble McSkirmish, Gravity Falls episode “Fight Fighters”

Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon

Developer: Ubisoft Montreal

Publisher: Ubisoft

Platform: Xbox 360

Released (North America): April 30, 2013

Released (Europe): May 1, 2013

Campaign Played from: October 5, 2016—November 19, 2016

Continue reading Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon Part One: Jumping the Shark

F.E.A.R. 3

F.E.A.R. 3 (stylized as F.3.A.R.)

Developer: Day 1 Studios

Publisher: Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment

Platform: Xbox 360

Released (North America): June 21, 2011

Released (Australia): June 22, 2011

Released (Europe): June 24, 2011

Played from: April 28, 2014 – May 3, 2014

Continue reading F.E.A.R. 3

VGJ Quickie: Resistance: Fall of Man

Resistance: Fall of Man

Developer: Insomniac Games

Publisher: Sony Computer Entertainment

Release – JP: November 11, 2006

Release – NA: November 17, 2006

Release – EU: March 23, 2007

This was Insomniac’s first game for the PS3. This FPS takes place in an alternate history 1951, with the US and UK allied against a new enemy: the alien Chimera.

The main character is American Army Ranger Sergeant Nathan Hale. He had a resistance to the virus spread by Chimeras that usually forced the infected to undergo mutation.

Nathan gained the ability to heal quickly, as well as enhanced strength and reflexes. Cosmetically, the color of his irises changed to gold, just like most Chimera.

Continue reading VGJ Quickie: Resistance: Fall of Man